Twisted Fiction Press

Tag: Bigfoot

Life, Schmife

by on Nov.04, 2009, under Flash

By Jay Stern (with apologies to Ron Carlson)

What if Bigfoot stole my life? I mean, my wife. What if Bigfoot stole my wife? Someone in class came up with that, and they said it wasn’t original, but it ‘resonated’ more for them than the other idea being floated: What if a guy discovers a surprising tattoo behind his knee? That just didn’t do it for them. They’d first heard the Bigfoot idea from a previous writing teacher, and the class decided to go with it. What if Bigfoot stole my wife? Write for fifteen minutes, class, on what if Bigfoot stole my life? What if the earth running between my fingers was not my earth? Or if the night in this place where I stand not knowing how I got here or when, is not the night of dark earth and winter leaves, but in my flared and wary nostrils, the smell of lemon and dry dust? What if Bigfoot stole my night? Did my friends choose me, or did I choose them? Who abducted who? Where are my real friends? People I know. Places I’ve been. Bigfoot came along, honestly, and said, look! Up in the sky! And while I was looking the other way, he stole my child. I told them it was Bigfoot because he was the guy who was with her last. She was my angel. And now she is real. Really gone. I haven’t seen her for years. I follow her life on Facebook. All those pictures. Isn’t she beautiful? She’s the one with Bigfoot. The guy who stole my life, my night, my child.

What if he woke up one day to discover a surprising tattoo behind his knee?

Jay Stern attends the University of Western Sydney.
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